[KJC: 16th Feb 2018] The Whyre

In a remarking turn of events, Right wing Protests die down In 2018. This was after Right wing protestors got DNA tests done which showed they were 25% descended from all the countries they hate. Maya Angelou’s ghost came back to say I told you so, “We’re More Alike than Unalike”.

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Tell a lie enough number of times and it’ll start sounding like the truth. Tell the truth enough number of times after that, and you’ll be lynched to death.

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Facebook announced changes to its Timeline algorithm so now you see more stuff from your friends and family. This gives me hope, because even with all that data, Facebook doesn’t know me at all.

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Man who screamed “I’m CEO, bitch” whilst walking out of college, finds everyone applying for VC funding had done the exact same thing.

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Perverse incentives: You say wake me up when September ends and your friend Drugs you for the next 9 months.

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Survival is insufficient, so live and let die.

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I’m a horrible person but I don’t intend to do anything about it.

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Scientists have found a way to stop us from aging. Infanticide.

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Im trying to get rid of Soda. I wish I could look at some people the way I lust after their can of Diet coke.

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The association of assholes has passed a resolution. You can now be an asshole all year round as you donate to Three charities and one of them is related to homelessness.

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The human centipede is really a bad attempt at a movie explaining mandelbrot sets.

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There’s so much Islamophobia in India that you can put it on a slice of Toast with Nutella and it stuff it up your ass. Which, yes, is apparently a thing.

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The times were changing so he decided he didn’t need to.

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There’s an old economist tale, it’s probably false. So someone asked Paul Samuelson if he’d take a bet where he’d win 200$ with a 50% chance and lose a 100$ with 50% probability. He said he wouldnt take the bet once, but he’d take the bet if it was offered a million times.

And that’s how Sam ended up in Indentured Labour for the rest of his life.

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The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth. Is what Wall-E said as he and his brethren killed the last human.

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TextBomb makes iPhone Crash. And the Text is: iPhone 11 launch date confirmed

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You know, I kinda miss David Cameron too now.

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I wish I could tell you how much I loved you. But I don’t like lying.

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Tautology, Example:

Brexit meant Brexit.

If only anyone knew what that meant.

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