[KJC: 24th February 2018 ] The Whyre

This really isn’t a column so much as a bunch of random thoughts and rants that I’ll come back to later to develop into a proper stand up set. But I still share it. Because why the heck not.

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It didn’t matter if the odds were against them, for they didn’t know probability.

The Death of one man is a tragedy. The Death of millions a statistic.They didn’t understand because they still didn’t know probability. But Thank God for they also didn’t know History, so they avoided agreeing with a quote by Stalin.

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If you think I’ve been an asshole to you, you then either:

a) I’m not and you’re reading too much into it.

b) I am and you totally deserved it.

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People ask me how I smile so much how I’m so happy all the time. And I think the secret to that is in enjoying the little things in life. Like the Cup of Green Tea in the Morning. And the 5ml of Vodka I add to it. I call it Grodka, but you can call it Alcoholic.

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They remembered the Silver Bullet, but forgot the gun.

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Milky Kardashian sued A Maple-Syrupy head of state recently, pointing out that if she did it, it was Cultural Appropriation, if He did it, it was “Advancing Bilateral Relations”.

Her case was thrown out as said Leader on a week long vacation, was Advancing Bilateral Relations.

Milky now uses many more racial epithets in her daily life, saying she’s advancing “inter-racial harmony”. And additionally, that she can call her husband anything she damn well pleases.

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I went to KFC recently. KFC ran out of Chicken in the UK. I’m sorry, I was really really hungry.

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50 bucks to anyone who can explain why Gaspar Noé movies are not porn/erotica.

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Syrian War ends as everyone is now dead.

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Man asked to Go heavy or go home at the gym. He’s now watching Netflix at home.

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